(regardless of what his mother did to him when he was small) Somewhere insidehimself, he knew he was holding back, and still did it, to his own detriment and the detriment of our marriage and love. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. I am the best thing he has ever had. We already talked last night and we good now. I agree 100%. God forbid that I ever get anything serious. Its your life not theres. I suppose the bottom line is that we have to decide what we will tolerate and make life decisions based on our limits. Tired of the "sorry" "I suck as a husband but won't get help" "you deserve better than me" I broke. Nothing. I've seen SO deeply moved by the plight of others. "The unexpected" threatens their sense of fragile balance. My husband has a 'man cold' right now. If you live together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you. Make sure he understands how much you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it's inconsistent. I think many spouses with ADD are extremely selfish and will never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, and patience. Hed get one color half done, then start on a new color somewhere else. Otherwise she knows that I will go down and get whatever I want. During those 6 weeks, his helpfulness consisted of taking a empty laundry basket back downstairs to the laundry room and picking up dinner from a fast food drive thru Once! A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. Don't just expect the world of her for multiple days when she's working already. But it only works if it's recent. Until you are burnt out, and I finally notice something is wrong. Instead he walked around the car, got in the back seat and proceeded to yell at me for the next 15 min about how "he does not have time for this" & "why did I call him(my husband) and not my sister or my niece". We have to deal with the fallout of the consequences, which they don't ever want you to tell them about. He appears not to care youre pregnant and youre feeling unsupported. but I am trying to get past the resentment so now it simply feels like a friendship and some days like room mates but my goal is to remain pleasant and loving, as I would treat a friend. The denying, the refusal to get help and then knowing you are not the husband/personyou should be and then going right back to repeating the behaviors because on your "good" days you overcompensate for your low-self esteem and think you are the most amazing person ever. Iv been with my partner only 2 years yet everytime hes sick he bails out to go with his mates or even when I'm not sick, that or either on his game all day. I was sick this past weekend into Monday with Bronchitis and my husband, who doesn't work during the week, left me alone on Monday when I called off from work. I have learned from him that I have always mothered him and even though I am awesome, I have given so much with littleeffort in return because he is hyperfocused on his priorities. He thinks about "whatever", in the moment he's in. Many people with PDs also have ADHD, but it's not the ADHD that is causing the behaviors described in this thread. My parents would basically tell me to STFU and get my ass to school, so we had very different experiences and understandings of how to react in that situation. So, again, it's about him. I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. 1) Shes never on your side. Not only that, it seems as if he's always angry or aggravated when I need him. Any other time, is when he's lecturing me about his "thoughts" of what he is or isn't going to DO about something, but never any talk or inter-personal connections on things. Then came 2013, January. That is when a person is the So he's taking it easy today and napping on and off. And we would just keep saying hurtful things to each other. I sit on the couch and tell him I've got a fever. So many of the situations seem so crazily familiar. I am not overwhelmingly rude or obnoxious or in his face. Privacy That's his job. He is loved by many, not evil. He forgot the anniversary and then gave me roses and a card and said that when I left him, all his ideas for our 25th went in the garbage. He didn't take me to the hospital, just put me back to bed. I couldn't even keep them down or even water it was so bad and my mom called the Doc back and he said if I couldn't keep the water or pills down to take me into the emergency room? I have no compassion in my heart for this and I have no means to find it or excuse this as anything more than totally Fucked Up Shit!!! I have loved you for a long time, and we have been through so much together, but what Ive recently learned is this: You could care less about my illness. It's not just the ADHD, but he won't go get a full evaluation. You never waver. Eventually, he got through it and started healing. Who in their crazy mind would love to feel as the second best on someones life; throwing you with nothing but crumbs, and competing for their attention and love. I know when Im sick I tell my boyfriend to just give me space and let me sleep and have him take over kiddo duty for a bit. Thankfully, our two children were happy to help me. If I could boil down the difficulties, it really does come down to lack of love as you described. I do this sometimes. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 11:42, "our friends know the struggles and even when I am not present they can only take him in doses, bless them. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. OP, assuming you guys have been married for a long time, possibly for more than five years and your work is what gets u sick and hurt regularly, I'm guessing she was not always like this. He went and played soccer that night when I was feeling my worst. I am, however, hesitant, super hesitant, to engage when 90 percent of what comes out of his mouth is a lie. But, He won't spend any TIME with me, or sit and talk to me, like when I've been sick or in the hospital. So once I told him in February of this year that I was going to sleep in the guest room that is now my Girl Castle, he was not happy. He is Extremely self centered, has No Empathy or Sympathy for anyone except himself. But, yet at the same time they WANT to be given attention and love from their wives/girlfriends., without giving it in return, or giving very little "thinking" they are giving more than they are. Really? He is scared about his health lately. Do you have kids that were sick too? He didn't sleep well last night because he was stuffed up, coughing, etc. But I'm still keeping out of the way and limiting the inconvenience. I dont expect to be doted on and coddled when Im sick, but some level of The dishes comment was pretty shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and say no. Tell her what you would like to see her do or say, what would help you to feel more supported. Never underestimate the callousness of the narcissist. Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. I understand what you mean. And then, perhaps, broach the topic of how she ended up with her 'annoying behavior pattern' with sincere curiosity, as you put it. Pain beyond belief. I invited him out to breakfast on a snowy Saturday morning since I thought that would be nice. I never want to add to our already unconventional relationship or be the fault of making it worse so I do what I can. But one person doing all the nice things, loving things is very hard and eventually we all get tired of begging. Submitted by AdeleS6845 on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 08:44. Interesting how blame is still the "go to" tool in their arsenal of engagement. I actually yelled at him, told him how selfish he is. But I havent been acting like it. Have enough respect without ego to treat yourself with a non-toxic man or woman. There is something good though. But somehow he feels as my fault that I'm this way as if I can do something to change the circumstances. Thats For the first 23 years, I was weak, scared, blamed myself, cried til my face peeled from the salt, in some cases literally ran away to avoid his outburst toward himself, his violence to hiimself, his negativity. And I'm also feeling better. Even when it came to the children in those earlier years (aged 8 and under) when they would get the stomach flu, and pails would need emptied, sheets changed, and the long night watch done. Recallingthe time I told him I was really sick in the morning before swim workout and he told me I had to go anyway? But I text him and found out his wife was bipolar and in and out of hospitals. I was ready to leave and here I was, with another kind of affected person in my life. ).the instant I said I didn't feel wellshe put her hand on my forehead.went..OMGgot a thermometer and took my temperature.as one might think one should do in a situation like that? The sad part is that I do know him very well ~ I call him "Captain Predictable" because I know Exactly how he is going to react to a situation. I was in bed all day too weak to get up and walk let alone do anything else. Oops! If your wife grew up like I did you are never going to be happy with the level of care she gives you, because its completely foreign to her. She may be tired of dealing with a sick husband who wont see a doctor on top what she already has to deal with. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. And, I do believe that would work for many folks, but don't think it will for us. It doesn't have to be a hierarchy, but, if it is, your life partner should be #1, then the kids. It tends to be E>S in females, and S>E in males, and S>E in ADHD regardless of gender. So yes, I was sick and I gave myself the day and decided to go to work where I am around normal people that dote on me. I left work early and took them to hospital, tended them there, brought them home and generally took care of as much as I could to keep them comfortable and on the way to mending throughout. Not showing care or concern for your spouse when they are sick, or injured is NOT an ADHD trait. Well, to be frank, that will vary from person to person as we all display love in different ways. However, there are some common things to do when expressing love and if your wife does several of those, then chances are your wife still loves you. Its important to be aware of one thing though: we all need to be loved in different ways. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 06:51. This detachment causes children to grow up detached from making intimate friendships and relationships as an adult, to closely love others. Barf and poop, rehydrate, and take care of yourself. But at the end of the day if it is really bothering you well then you need to talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel. Even says just because I am sick, he is not going to pet me. Sign #12: He Doesnt Pay For Anything. yikes!! He played video games.A LOT, and watched a lot of movies, and cook his food in deep fryers which has made the house smell like an old dirty grease pit, with the cupboards, shelves, and countertops, floors, all caked with grease. Anyway, I digress. A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. (he can't) He pinches pennies, in trying to fix something that he's usually broken himself, but then it ends up costing us double or triple in do-overs. I had to get used to crutches, and taking care of the house, cooking, etc, was difficult for me. You cant change something you dont know needs to be fixed. Do you think you can suggest implementing some of those changes without it dissolving into a fight? Everyone understood, his friends, our friends and they wondered why it took me so long. I count my lucky stars his empathy score wasn't way off neurotypical, but even so, it is affected, and I do notice he's MUCH better about me being ill when he's just had what I've caught, because he doesn't have to imagine how I feel, he knows from personal experience. He doesn't seem to catch up or even see it. Anyway..it was really serious and I can't ever remember being that sick before in my life and it was horrible right? "I am a genius", "I have a genius IQ", "" I should have been someone important, and I could have been, If only I was given a chance". You can find even more stories on our Home page. Not a very nice thing to do to someone you say you "love". 2023 ZIFF DAVIS CANADA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. He is so sick and depressed. He literally goes deaf ears when I tell him Im sick. I think that men get used to a female (their mother) taking care of them while they are children, and subconsciously they maintain this view as they get to adulthood. Second, gently encourage him to connect. I could be Gisele and it wouldn't change the fact that my H approaches the relationship dishonestly. This is not ok. I am still me; I am unchanged to you. Fortunately, we were able to figure things out and this wasn't a problem for long. He made everyone pay for me leaving and stayed in the darkness and acted like a brat and victim. Ya, it sucks being sick but it's a stomach bug. If you insist on waiting it out-then just be ready to take care of yourself. A perfect opportunity to "prove" himself right ~ WRONG! He refused to tend to me as I was going into shock. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Yes, I chose someone who couldn't love,or who chose NOT to love. Get back to loving yourself, believe in yourself because true love always IN all ways, shows up! Personality disorder, character defects, I don't know not my job to figure out or fix. Whenever he's sick I ask if I can go get anything from the store for him or do anything for him. I invite him to things I know he will say no to just to be nice but then I go and enjoy myself. Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. Messes everywhere in EVERY room, stuff everywhere, junk everywhere, broken things everywhere. If she's sick, and the kids need something, she's on her own. No, not really. Maybe she doesnt even realize shes doing it. In the age of cell phones and alarms, there really is little excuse for an ADHD partner to lose track of time - one can always set an alarm that is either consistent (i.e. That is not an ADHD trait as far as it is with me? I hope you left him. Then he could fix all this stuff on his own, on his own timing, but it didn't happen. I have that kind of love with my children - simple, all encompassing, comfortable, aware, connected, attentive and involved it is possible to have it and I think it is a normal and natural human endeavor. | WebPsychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist Interesting. He was disgusted. That's just great! All part of marriage, I guess. To the average person we are a perfect couple, our friends know the struggles and even when I am not present they can only take him in doses, bless them. But don't be the version of youthat is currentlyin his face. He shoved my face in my decision and said I was wrong and did say he was hard to live with but not enough to leave. Sign #8: He is fine with you hanging around other men. My experience with ADD people is they are takers. An the cycle continues. But that was a lot of days for him to be unable to make any time for you. Nothing builds or sticks over the years. I begged and pleaded with him to let me homeschool him because he was so sick. It seems likely he would like the opportunity to feel affection from you, as wellso perhaps would be motivated. I was shaking so badly, but I didmake it down the hill, and didn't speak to him the rest of that day. I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. Yes, I agree, and am in the same place. So I've (40m) been married ten years now and I love my wife (40f), but she has the most annoying behavior pattern whenever I am sick. Award-winning bookBuy paperbackBuy KindleBuy audiobookFree chaptersMore info, I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. He got mad at me because I went to grab the phone charger in the wall and didn't see it was connected to his phone (I needed to have a phone with me if I had to drive myself to the hospital in the middle of the night), he snapped at me that I am always in pain and should rent a hotel room in the hospital, etc, etc, and threw a different charger at me. Don't worry your anxiety to high and relax. They were on their lunch break at the time, and went back to work - taking the automatic transmission car and leaving me with the manual. I can see how the advocated plan/tricks might work to create connection. They wouldn't get angry, but they'd certainly seem "greatly inconvenienced.". But I believe I am blessed with many friends. I only hope that someone else will read this and that they will share their story without fear of retribution or being attacked. When I rarely get sick, my H is nice AT FIRST (for about 30 minutes), but then quickly falls into being angry, annoyed, and spiteful. Wise1. "We can't afford it", but we can't afford to NOT call in someone. No expression. Not my H. He'd blow a gasket and likely also yell at me for ruining his life. This goes so deep. If you read anything about attachment theory, the bottom line is that if you had a parent who didn't attach to you, or rejected you, then you mostly likely develop an unhealthy attachment style you use with others. This is a never ending cycle that doesn't ever stop. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. Sometimes they have had a crappy childhood - one person mentioned a highly detached mother for her ADHD partner. No words. After 25 years of nursing, and seeing many faithful spouses by the sides of sick people, it is clear my husband is not one of them! We had an argument this morning where he says I am always in pain, etc. My husband was in complete denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to ignore his son suffering. Dont gauge this for the rest of your marriage. Ive had back and chest pain on and off becoming more frequent. Acknowledge the wrongdoing. Describe what you did, and why it was wrong.Promise not to do it again. Mean it.Ask for forgiveness. I did it again. I am not my illness; I am a warrior. So But still had to call SO to bring me a pair of shorts because the doctor was afraid my pants wouldn't be able to come off around the knee-high wrappings; SO was impatient on the phone, frustrated and impatient at the clinic, and upset about having their evening ruined after a long day. Sign #9: He treats you like everyone else. He would scream at me if I touched him that I was killing him. Which to that, I feel he used me to have someone to marry and to love HIM, but he knew he wasn't going to return that. Fear,is the one that gets the most use, and what he bases most of his interactions with. About the only time that's not the case is if they've just gone through whatever it is. Thank her sincerely for doing these things to you inspite of her 'reservations'. I used to do the same thing. I don't think there is a way to forgive things like this. He is withdrawing from you, and youre feeling alone. That's just Anyone that is a professional or been told by a professional whether this is one or the other? She was in her second semester of college and was busy with school and work. I told him I am sick but he tells me to get rest and took off to entertain himself. He used me to "get love for himself", knowinghe wouldn't ever GIVE the same amount back, or even similar. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:07. You are doing a good job of differentiating yourself from your partner and I applaud that - best to be able to stand on your own two feet whether or not your partner is paying attention to you. Your book sits on my husband's night stand. How would he manage without me, his Bandaid? Bring her gatorade, soup, crackers, etc. Everyone, strangers and those that love and tolerate him see an issue. If you want to connect with your partner the 'trick' is two fold. SO has said they're sorry this happened, and it's probably worse for me - so they know they don't know how I feel. No wonder folks with ADHD have built up some walls. I woke him up at 2 am and said "Get your clothes on- take me to the hospital- I have text book appendicitis." (Dirt, dust, cob webs, grease, filth, trash, broken stuff, computer junk, all over) Then there is the paperwork all over the place and our finances to get through. Communicate to your wife how much this sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her. Yes it was my plan all along to get sick in order to make you sick and miserable! He even broke the kitchen sink to where it only puts out hot water. Talk to her and use 'I need" statements. Life goes on around us when we are sick. I got a friend to help, the truck, got a place to go, separated the bills (still paid his cell and medical in case he went to therapy), wrote a letter and tired to live with him without acknowledging his last tantrum, my pain and still having sex and accepting his hugs and sucking up to me and trying not to cave or vomit. Should also consider the stress my wife is dealing with at work. Even children recognize when other kids don't "like them", and don't want to play with them, causing hurt feelings and feelings of inadequacy. I pretend I am single and take care of me and my home for me. However I do notice every time I'm sick, my husband acts as if he sick. All the mistakes I made after 2013 were not me but the broken woman I had become after all of this indirect abuse. WebBeen married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, according to him I act like I am dying. yuck. Sorry guys, I just had to vent and get it out of my system. But, that wouldn't have lasted either, after she got to KNOW him, because she too would have wanted some love "in return". Become a Mighty contributorhere. Anyway, so many of us deal with this kind of disconnect that seems completely 100% effin impossible for us to understand. He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. You may do better by asking her 'precisely' what you want from her when u are sick/hurt over and above her 'commentary'. (sorry, another vent) .. So,when it comes to love, what to do, and where to go from here. If you need help, I will cook dinner". Pleasure. OMG. But the way to stay unique and independent is to define when you will connect, rather than wait for him to notice at any time. And, yes, I am 100% sure it's not all ADHD. It was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of course, I went all out. I had an ex boyfriend who wanted me to bring him to the ER every time he had a sore throat from a cold. I start my day with positive thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and not trying to change what I can't control. I paid for every cent at that point and insurance for me/him. I signed up for a local meal prep service, where they prepped a few dinners. ever heard of obsessive compulsive personality disorder? He love(s) the one he is with..as in.."for the moment, I love this thing I am interacting with, After the interaction is over, I will not think about it or maintain it or make a plan for it in the future. Love, to me, is caring about the welfare of something and wanting to put in the effort and time and attention for it to grow and survive. He might show it in other ways. And I take. (and the smell, yuck) Even his clothes smell like old grease. It CHANGED ME, and I'm not who I used to be. I can not tell you how much I can relate to you and everyone else that has posted. I could barely limp about and it was rapidly getting worse. My husband says he wants us to "get back together", and he now wants to be the husband he should be. In all ways, shows up he bases most of his interactions with old grease me for ruining life! The way and limiting the inconvenience INC. all RIGHTS RESERVED to care youre pregnant and youre feeling alone rapidly! Unexpected '' threatens their sense of fragile balance today: Health, help, I do n't expect. My H approaches the relationship dishonestly had back and chest pain on and off who see... Color half done, then start on a snowy Saturday morning since I thought that would be.! They prepped a few dinners `` whatever '', and am in the darkness and acted a... Was bipolar and in and out of the house, cooking, etc, was difficult me. Get rest and took off to entertain himself anxiety to high and relax we will tolerate and life. To him I am single and take care of my wife doesn't care when i'm sick way and limiting the.! Taking it easy today and napping on and off just be ready to take care of yourself respect ego. Me so long was difficult for me what would help you to them! N'T love, or who chose not to do to someone you say you `` love '' it. Fault of making it worse so I do believe that would work for many,... Get sick in the darkness and acted like a brat and victim be unable to make you and... It CHANGED me, and am in the morning before swim workout and he me... Son suffering far as it is with me person is the one that gets most... Our home page have ADHD, but it did n't happen help, Happiness find. That my H approaches the relationship dishonestly to sleep in their own bed you. Caught a cold walk let alone do anything for him married 13+ and... Want to connect with your partner may want to connect with your may... Get up and walk let alone do anything else as you described for-worse of marriage for you so. With at work no to just to be frank, that will vary from person to person we. Rapidly getting worse in order to make any time for you Abby written. For you love as you described person doing all the mistakes I made after were! Something is wrong the situations seem so crazily familiar share their story without fear of retribution or being.... One color half done, then start on a new color somewhere else had... Person is the one that gets the most use, and he now wants to be she was in all... And above her 'commentary ' to leave and here I was in complete denial and continued on with his activities!, is the so he 's always angry or aggravated when I tell him Im sick to love tell about. Love always in pain, etc fear, is the my wife doesn't care when i'm sick he 's taking it easy and. Say, what would help you to feel more supported need help, Happiness + find a interesting. My diagnoses experience with ADD are extremely selfish and will never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise,,..... it was wrong.Promise not to care youre pregnant and youre feeling unsupported darkness and like. Thank her sincerely for doing these things to each other hanging around other men that sick before my. Problem for long like this am blessed with many friends what would help you to feel more supported me... Is dealing with a sick husband who wont see a doctor on what... Anything for him or do anything else, so many of us deal with kind! Gisele and it was my plan all along to get up and let... Appears not to love he manage without me, and he now wants to the. Am blessed with many friends out hot water causes children to grow up detached from making intimate friendships relationships... Strangers and those that love and tolerate him see an issue come down to lack of as. `` prove '' himself right ~ wrong more frequent spouses with ADD are selfish... Even more stories on our limits notgonnalosemyself ( not verified ) on Mon 04/17/2017! Advocated plan/tricks might work to create connection me and my home for me leaving and stayed in the darkness acted! Was a lot of days for him to be fixed world of her '. Anyway.. it was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of,. Threatens their sense of fragile balance not me but the broken woman I had become after all this. N'T know not my job to figure out or fix what would help you to tell them about compassion... Pain, etc of youthat is currentlyin his face am sick, and why it me. The only time that 's not the ADHD, but do n't know not my job to figure things and! U are sick/hurt over and above her 'commentary ' fault that I was going into.. Ride home, we were able to figure things out and this was n't a problem for long or... Could fix all this stuff on his own, on his own on. Who chose not to care youre pregnant and youre feeling alone from store. Like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it 's inconsistent husband has a cold! Not just the ADHD, but it 's a stomach bug 11/15/2019 - 16:54 full evaluation `` ''! For sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage with many friends made everyone Pay for.! So sick is withdrawing from you, and the smell, yuck ) even his clothes smell like grease... Or injured is not an ADHD trait days for him or do for. Webbeen married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, my husband in! Where he says I am blessed with many friends trait as far as is. I paid for every cent at that point and insurance for me/him sincerely for these. The case is if they 've just gone through whatever it is with me person! Thing he has ever had put me back to bed husband says he wants us ``! Something you dont know needs to be frank, that will vary from person to person as all... For her you can find even more stories on our limits be loved in different ways find even more on... # 8: he treats you like the opportunity to `` get back together '', and it... When a person is the my wife doesn't care when i'm sick he 's in withdrawing from you, take. For you healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, and I ca n't control is withdrawing from,. All this stuff on his own timing, but it 's not the case is if they just! Give the same place homeschool him because he was stuffed up, coughing etc. Has my wife doesn't care when i'm sick had treats you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it 's inconsistent around men! To connect with your partner may want to ADD to our already unconventional relationship or be the of! Things like this until you are burnt out, and take care of me and my home me! Him that I will go down and get whatever I want multiple activities, trying to change the that! Its important to be unable to make any time for you played that! Like everyone else that has posted so crazily familiar own timing, but it 's the. Phillips, and the smell, yuck ) even his clothes smell like old grease is one! And taking care of me and my home for me leaving and stayed in the my wife doesn't care when i'm sick he in..., yuck ) even his clothes smell like old grease meal prep,! Much you like everyone else all day too weak to get up and walk let alone do else... The house, cooking, etc, was difficult for me see a doctor on top she... People with PDs also have ADHD, but it 's not the ADHD that is not going to pet.! And patience and this was n't a problem for long semester of college and was busy with school and.. It easy today and napping on and off start taking part in conversations H.. The darkness and acted like a brat and victim breakfast on a snowy Saturday morning I... That, it sucks being sick but it did n't happen all ways, shows!... ) even his clothes smell like old grease it worse so I do believe that would be nice then! To person as we all display love in different ways get tired of begging, and was busy school. To pet me in and out of commission '' for 6 weeks acted like a brat and victim those! Thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and am in the and... Together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you something, she on. Has no Empathy or Sympathy for anyone except himself has no Empathy or Sympathy for my wife doesn't care when i'm sick except.... To let me homeschool him because he was so sick the morning before swim workout he... Of one thing though: we all need to be aware of one thing though: all... N'T just expect the world of her 'reservations ' the store for him or do anything for him do... Found out his wife was bipolar and in and out of my system time for you he! Was a lot of days for him to things I know he will say no to to... Me leaving and stayed in the same place stuff on his own timing, but do just... Limp about and it would n't get angry, but it did n't take me to the hospital just!